The #1 Customer Service Skill: How to Build Instant Rapport
Building rapport is a vital communication skill in business and life. And one of the most powerful tools when building rapport is the ability to always find common ground.
When we discover commonality through shared experiences, values, or interests our subconscious brain immediately triggers a sense of safety and trust. Because we typically like people who are like us and therefore we're more willing to be friends with them or do business with them.
In customer service, building these connections can convert a frustrated customer into a loyal fan.
Commonalities That Build Rapport
You don’t have to have grown up in the same city or gone to the same school to find commonality - there are 5 ways you can tap into this technique:
1. Location
People love talking about where they’re from—whether it’s a small town, a big city, or even a country halfway across the world. All you need to do is show an interest in where they are from:
What to say:
“I detect an accent – whereabout are you from?”
“Ah, Cape Town - Table Mountain is on my bucket list. Do you get to hike often?”
2. Shared experiences
What to say:
Having a similar experience, even if it’s small, can spark connection.
“ I see you recently ran the Chicago Marathon – how did you find that?”
“I’ve been in your shoes before. Waiting on hold for 30 minutes is frustrating.”
3. Time and Occasion
Commenting on the day, season, or even time of day can lighten any conversation.
4. Occupation or Industry
Showing interest in someone’s role makes them feel valued and important.
What to say:
“You’re in real estate? How’s the real estate market at the moment.”
“I see you’re an architect — that’s my dream job – do you enjoy it?”
5. Positive Observations
People appreciate being seen and acknowledged.
What to say:
“You’ve explained that really clearly — that helps me a lot.”
“You sound like someone who’s very organized. That’ll make this easy!”
Need Customer Service Training? Learn valuable skills such as building rapport to build a loyal customer base.
How to Discover Common Ground with New Customers
Sometimes a new customer won’t volunteer much at first. That’s where active listening and curiosity come in. By listening carefully not just to what they say, but how they say it, you can pick up tone, keywords, and emotional cues. Ask open-ended questions to invite sharing, such as:
- “How’s your day going so far?”
- “What kind of work do you do?”
- “Where are you calling from today?”
Once you identify a potential point of connection, be as real as possible.
Don’t pretend that you’ve lived in the same town or had the same experience if you haven't. Just show interest with a genuine follow-up question. That alone shows empathy and respect.
Building rapport is a vital skill for anyone that needs to improve communication in the workplace - Click here to find how you can upskill your team.
The Benefits of Building Rapport in Customer Service
In customer service, time is often limited, and pressure can be high. Customers can be angry, confused, or impatient. Building rapport — even briefly — can shift the mood of the entire interaction. The following are benefits.
- Reduces defensiveness: A frustrated customer is more likely to calm down when they feel understood.
- Improves cooperation: Customers are more willing to work with you if they feel they’re being treated like a person, not a ticket or a number.
- Encourages loyalty: People remember how you made them feel. A helpful rep who showed empathy builds long-term trust.
- Boosts resolution rates: When communication flows smoothly, problems get solved faster and more thoroughly.
Final Thoughts
Building rapport isn’t about manipulation - it’s about human connection. By seeking common ground, using empathetic language, and staying present in the conversation, we show others that we see and respect them. Whether you’re helping a customer fix a problem or just making small talk at a coffee shop, these small acts of connection can create big results.
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